Crunch the Numbers

Crunch the Numbers

   You probably won't be surprised to learn that I've never been a big fan of anything math related. I'm not good at it. I don't enjoy it. When trying to work out a multi-step problem my brain usually erases the beginning by the time I get to the end. It's always been this way for me. I have vivid childhood memories of having a silent temper tantrum in my mind when my teacher told us to get out our math books. I lived for silent reading time or when she read aloud to us. Books like "Island of the Blue Dolphins".
     But this morning I'm thinking about numbers. Sometimes they are very, very important. We live by them. We fight over them. I use them when I cook and drive and plan and even when I write. This is an election year. We're going to be hearing about numbers until we're all sick of them.
     There are some things that should not be measured by numbers, though. This morning I came here to check my blog and couldn't help but peek at the little chart that tells me how many "views" I've already had today. Not as many as I had yesterday by this time. How many comments? How many people have checked out my short stories? Any new followers on Twitter?
    This is getting ridiculous.

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    When I checked in this morning and saw that number, it wasn't as high as I wanted (but really, is it there any such thing as "enough" when it comes to numbers?) I felt my face frown in that way it does when I step on the scale and it's the same as it was yesterday. Then I thought the same thought that I do when I step on the scale: I probably shouldn't be checking this number every single day. Why not? Because it's such an unrealistic measure of success. It just doesn't matter.
    Last night I was talking to my husband about someone who on his last day on earth was talking about how much money he had saved. Can you think of anything sadder? If this was my last day on earth I would not be thinking about how many followers I have on twitter, I would not care about how many page views I've had or the number on the scale. I would consider my life a success if I've improved someone else's. Have I been a good wife? Have I been a good mother? Has my life reflected Jesus? If only one person has been moved closer to Christ because of the words on this blog then one is a number that measures total success.
   It's such a hard thing to change in my mind. You get it, right? We always want more. Even as I write these words I hope lots of people will read them. But I'll try. I will try to forget about the numbers. Crunch and crumple them like a piece of paper and throw them away. I don't want numbers to distract me from the purpose and the plan that God has for me. When He measures success, I don't think He looks at the numbers.

 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, 

according to his power that is at work within us, Ephesians 3:20