Blursings

The "Curse" of Our Gifts

This morning on facebook a relative posted a short video about the spiritual application of a pizza box. It's a two minute clip about how we as believers are vessels of Christ. Keep it in mind as you read this post because, as I'm sure you know, we cannot take credit for our gifts. James 1:17 reminds us that "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."
  A few years ago at church we all took a spiritual gifts test. The goal was to identify our strengths so we can utilize them for service. I found it super-interesting. A couple of people were asked to speak briefly about their results and they said something that resonated with me and I'm guessing you get it, too.
They said that they know it's a blessing, and they are thankful for their gifts, but sometimes their blessing felt like a curse. That's why I sometimes refer to these things, in a tongue-in-cheek sort of way, as "blursings" because they feel like a combination of a blessing and a curse.
My friend has the gift of administration and she's amazing. Creative and organized, she is a master at making everything beautiful. Dozens of times I've heard people (myself included) say they wish they could just let her do whatever she wanted to makeover their homes. She likes things clean and organized and she's very very good at it.
But, for her, there's a downside. Disorder and mess bug her. Some people could overlook a messy bookshelf, but for my friend it would probably stress her out a little.
Then there's another lady. She spoke about one of her main gifts. The gift of mercy. Oh boy. When she said that this blessing sometimes felt like a curse I knew exactly where she was coming from because I have that one, too.
Compassion.
Several years ago I played "Truvy" in a stage production of "Steel Magnolias". When Shelby, regretting asking Truvy for a short haircut, begins to tear up, Truvy begs her to stop. "Oh sweetheart don't. Please don't cry or I will too. I have a strict policy that nobody cries alone in my presence."
Yep. I may not actually cry, but no one suffers in solitude if I'm around.
I'm glad I'm a compassionate person. But being compassionate means that there are times when my heart aches because of valleys I'm not actually walking through. If you are in the valley and need someone to hold your hand awhile, I'm your girl.
Don't misunderstand, I'm thankful for my gifts. Along with mercy, a couple of my other gifts are discernment and wisdom. I'm so grateful for them. I think if I had had a choice I would have picked those gifts.
But here's my point. I think that there's a reason there's some pain in the gift. What good is mercy all by myself, kept hidden? What good is wisdom if I don't share it?
Is a gift really a gift without some amount of sacrifice? Is it really worth anything if we don't grow, develop, and use it to bless others?
These gifts are meant to be manifold. Paul said in Acts "In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.' "
Haven't you noticed that sometimes the best way to lift your own spirit is to bless someone else?
Let's embrace the sacrifice. Like Tom Hanks said in A League of Their Own, "It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard... is what makes it great."
Like when you knit, bake, clean, create, write, craft, or just give your time. When you sit and listen and let your presence chase away loneliness. The time you spend. The risk you take in being vulnerable, the inevitable hurt we invite when we love one another. It makes it sweeter, and richer, and more. The sacrifice of our "blursings"'is all part of the gift.

Literally

You keep using that word. I don't think it means what you think it means.



I am fighting a losing battle. Granted, I'm not fighting very hard. Just a few impassioned pleas on social media and a rant or two to family members who probably wish I'd shut up about it already. You know, the usual ways we try to save the world.
But my cause is a noble one. A brave and honorable rescue mission. Free the captive! Slay the dragon! Save the word literally! I'm talking about how everywhere we look, the word literally being used incorrectly or unnecessarily or both. "We literally died laughing." "I literally found it under the bed."
It's driving me bonkers.
 Part of the reason it bothers me so much is that I love words and generally don't like to hear them misused. People have taken to using the word literally for emphasis when that's not it's purpose at all. It's meant for clarity, not to add weight to something. This is a big deal to me and I was just sitting here thinking about why that is.
I think what bothers me is this: We can't just distort the truth to suit our wishes. Literally does not mean "really a whole lot-I mean it".  A couple of weeks ago when I said that the kids at church were "literally bouncing off the walls", I didn't mean they were extra super-duper hyper, I mean that they were so rowdy that I actually saw a kid ricochet off an actual wall.
I fear that one day the definition will bow to the abuse of the word and it will actually be changed in the dictionary.
But it's not right.
I could believe with every cell in my brain that the sun orbits the earth but it doesn't make it true. Even if all of us believed it, it would not make true an untrue thing. It would only make all of us wrong.
I'm talking about absolutes here, and I'm aware of their fading popularity in our world, but that's just the point. The world doesn't want standards? Our culture simply loathes accountability? Too bad. Truth remains. No amount of argument, condescension, ignorance, oblivion, or scorn will fade it.

Psalm 119:89 Your word, Lord, is eternal; it stands firm in the heavens.

 I'm choosing one simple verse to share. There are tons of passages in the Bible about this, but Psalm 119:89 is one perfect example. It doesn't need my help by trying to add any emphasis. Using a word in an improper way does not diminish the merit of the word. Disobeying The Word does not weaken it's sovereignty either.

Before and After

My Week in the Library


You probably have one of those places in your house, too. A messy catch-all where you throw stuff when you don't know where else to put it.
I won't tell you the whole long story, but last week I finally tunneled into "the cold room" and turned it into a tiny library. My boys will probably still call it the cold room, though.
Anyway, as you can probably guess, it was a lot of work. The boys helped a little, carrying books and throwing things away when I asked. I did the painting, though I'm not very good at it.
It took me over a week, I was exhausted at the end of every day, there are still a few things to do, and it was worth it all. Every sore muscle, every scraped knuckle, every wobble of the stepladder that momentarily convinced this very afraid-of-heights girl that she was going to fall to her death was worth the end result.
I bought "oops paint" at the hardware store and I love the colors. I got a set of chairs and matching ottoman at Karen's Treasures, and we have been enjoying our little reading room.
Last night my boys and I snuggled into our new-to-us chairs and I introduced them to Junie B. Jones.
The pictures don't really do it justice. Probably because I took them on my little pink, digital Sanyo. When my photographer friend comes to visit, maybe she'll take some better ones and I'll update you.

before

during

after

 Isn't it lovely? Last night after the boys went to bed, Keith and I sat in our little library and we decided it's the coziest room in the  house.

I'm planning on moving the clock to a different spot because I think it looks weird there, We still need to sort through the desk you can't really see here and we could use a little table to set a cup of tea, but it's mostly done. There is for sure room for more books!

But this is all for now. I will likely have more to say about it later. For now let's just enjoy the fun of before and after. 

Sneak Peek

Friday marked one month since I started this blog. I've liked blogging more than I thought I would. It's been fun. I've learned some things and I've posted every day so far. But like I've mentioned before, I probably won't keep doing that. I really need to work on my manuscript and I've only looked at it once or twice. I've got my work cut our for me.

If I can do it without giving too much away and still making sense, I'll try to share pieces of the story with you as I go. Here's just a tiny peek. If you're a member of my page on Facebook "Amie's Book in Progress" you may have read it before, but here's a new one. 

So don't give up on me, okay? Knowing you might want to know more about Meg will keep me accountable. I'll finish no matter what, but I'm grateful for the people who remind me that I'm not alone. Thanks for checking in. 

Progress?

Just a quick one today. I wanted to update you on the dubious progress we're making on cleaning up the bedroom we've been using for storage.You can read the first post here. I took a picture, but I'm too embarrassed to show you until I have an "after" picture to put next to it. I realize this means I might never show it to anyone because, like I said before, it might never happen.
This is one of those things where it gets worse before it gets better. We've made progress,but you can't tell by looking at the room. (I can tell by how wiped out I am) I still don't know what I'm going to do with all the stuff that's in there and I'm reaching a point where I'm not going to be able to do it all on my own.
Sounds like a lot of things in life, doesn't it? Sometimes progress is almost invisible, we don't know how things will turn out and asking for help is a big key to overcoming challenges.
You might be thinking about how dumb all of this sounds but I bet there are a few who get it. And I guess there's another parallel here. The end result is really important to me so I'm willing to put in the effort it takes to achieve it.
Stay tuned! I hope to have something happy to share before too long.

Malicious Sneaky Product Placement

I've told you about how I'm trying to clean up the messiest room in my house. Yesterday Sam and I took another swing at it and we made some progress but it's still pretty bad. I still hold out tenuous hope that it will someday, before my boys graduate, be a cute little library type room.

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So this morning as I was running errands I thought I'd look at some rugs. I'm considering the one on the left in the picture. But as I was standing there browsing I noticed something out of place. In between the rugs and some cleaning supplies sat a tall shelf of toys. They have whole aisles for toys so why in the world would there need to be a random shelf of them in the corner by the rugs?
Of course, we already know why. I was alone this morning as I was browsing, but I could hear the echo of my children's voices in my head. If they had been with me they would have noticed them. Noticed and wanted them. I would not have browsed in peace.
Maybe it was a simple coincidence but I doubt it. They weren't sitting next to the deodorant where you grab the kind you like and move on. Nope. Right there on a big 'ol shelf where Mom has to linger a while to make up her mind. Even if it is a mistake, it's an irritating one.
I have a point to all this ranting. I'm not just talking about toy placement to whine about something that didn't really affect me at all.I really like shopping there and the people are always nice, that's why I'm only showing the cute rugs. So here's what I'm getting at.
It reminded me of how the enemy works. The devil knows how to push our buttons and he will try to make something we don't really want look exceedingly attractive.
But I want to talk about the good news. The good news is that God promises us that if we resist the devil he as to flee. Flee! Not amble away but run. I imagine a cartoon character kicking up dust as he zooms away appearing and disappearing over the hills.
And more good news. Sometimes the product placement isn't sneaky or malicious because it was God's idea in the first place. He uses trials to refine us all the time. I remember something my pastor said once in a sermon. "God is more interested in your character than your comfort."
We're going to see toys in the rug aisle at lot in life. Whether it's something God has allowed the enemy to do or it was His own idea for our best interest, the answer is still the same. If we lean on Him, He will help us. He promises that the temptation will not be impossible to resist and He promises to be with us every step of the way.

God the Mother

Don't freak out on me, I haven't adopted any pagan ideas about Gaia or whatever I just want to talk about some attributes of God. It's because of the library book that got lost in our house for about a month.
Jesse checked out a book at school, I think we read it one time and then it evaporated. To make a long story short, I found it yesterday in the "cold room" hidden in a stack of coloring books I had removed from the kitchen while I was cleaning.
After I found it I posted a comment on facebook: "I found it because I'm the Mama."

You've seen that one quote. "Nothing is really lost until your mom can't find it." Finding is one of those things that is special about moms.
Last week Keith and I were watching this sermon by Rich Wilkerson Jr. It's really good so check it out. He talks about Jesus and lost things. He points out that we are the ones who title one of His parables "The Prodigal Son" but Jesus called it a story about two brothers. Both brothers were lost.
Moms are known for finding lost things and God is, too. God is The Father, but He also loves us like a mother. Check out this passage from the 18th Psalm:

6 In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears.7 The earth trembled and quaked, and the foundations of the mountains shook; they trembled because he was angry.8 Smoke rose from his nostrils; consuming fire came from his mouth,burning coals blazed out of it.9 He parted the heavens and came down; dark clouds were under his feet.10 He mounted the cherubim and flew; he soared on the wings of the wind.11 He made darkness his covering, his canopy around him—the dark rain clouds of the sky.12 Out of the brightness of his presence clouds advanced,

with hailstones and bolts of lightning. 13 The Lord thundered from heaven; the voice of the Most High resounded.14 He shot his arrows and scattered the enemy,with great bolts of lightning he routed them.15 The valleys of the sea were exposed and the foundations of the earth laid bare at your rebuke, Lord, at the blast of breath from your nostrils.16 He reached down from on high and took hold of me;

he drew me out of deep waters.17 He rescued me from my powerful enemy,from my foes, who were too strong for me.18 They confronted me in the day of my disaster,but the Lord was my support.

19 He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.

That sounds like a mother to me. I mean, if  you want to feel a woman's wrath just mess with her kid. It makes me think of a bear defending her cubs. God hears our distress and the result is smoke and lighting and hailstones and burning coals. Whoa. 

And then at the end He swoops in and comforts us. My boys adore my husband. There are, no question about it, times they want him and not me. But when they're hurt or distressed they will run past their dad to dive into my arms. 

God is Abba. Daddy. He does all the things that good daddies do. 

But He loves us like a Mama, too.

He's the one we run to when we fall and scrape up our hands and knees. I asked Him to help me find the book and He did. Just like a Mama, He's known for finding what's lost.